Dear Friends, as we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, the medical community is now weighing in on the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) package passed last month. Yes, it has only been a month ago and I bring you their recommendations.
Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness and would lead to bedlam, while Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.”
Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole package was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the anuses in Washington.