Bulletin Editor
Mary Denton
Your feedback is welcomed. We are always striving to improve.
By Bruce Richter
Our club enjoys great fellowship and also serving our community. Our speakers offer us insights into the needs of our community and how we can better serve. Come join us!
Executives & Directors
Fred Timmons
President Elect
Rick Tarbell

Mary Denton
Stuart Dudley
Vice President
James Daniel
Immediate Past President
Allyson Hamlin
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Birthdays & Anniversaries
Member Birthday
Roger Thompson
April 3
Stuart Dudley April 23
Join Date
Stuart Dudley April 1 1991
28 years
Pat McGuyer April 25 2018
1 year
Russell Hampton
ClubRunner Mobile
 Bulletin for April 24, 2019
(The editor apologizes for the late arrival of this bulletin.  I'll explain at meeting and pay my fine.  Mary Denton)
Prayer, Pledge and Visitors
The meeting began with the ringing of the bell by President elect Rick Tarbell. Destiny Mujica led us in a word of prayer and the pledge.  Ken Donoughue introduced our speaker. Dr. Linda Cook.  Linda is a local retired pediatrician who is using her skills in the work to fight polio through Polio Plus. We welcomed visiting Rotarians from Paris, Kentucky: Bill T. McConnell and Tom Brannock.  We were glad to see Dave Jower, a regular visitor from Northwest Rotary.
District Conference is May 3 - registration is still open. There are several of our members registered so don't miss out!
President Fred reminded us to finish selling tickets for the cruise raffle tickets. Drawing will be at the District Conference May 4.
Coffee Friday is Friday May 8. We really would like your feedback on this to try to accomodate more members.  Please let us know what time/day would work better.
Happy Hour is Thursday, May 16. We are enjoying the new venue at the Outback Steakhouse. 
Rotary Leadership Institute is May 18. Registration is now open and you may register by clicking HERE.
Scholarship Chair Barry Abrams reminded us that scholarship applicant interviews are scheduled:
ISA is Monday May 6 at 3 p.m.
Clark HS is Wednesday May 8 at 3 p.m.
He is looking for more volunteers to help interview. If you wish to help please contact Barry.
Humor from President Fred
National What Day 
  •  National Law Day – allows all Americans to reflect on the personal rights and liberties which we all enjoy
  • Today is May Day – a traditional day of celebration – the exchange of flowers is one of the most popular ways to observe it.
  • National Chocolate Parfait Day
  • National Dental Care Month
  • National Loyalty Day
  • National Mother Goose Day
  • National Skilled Trades Day
  • National School Principal’s Day
  • National Silver Star Service Banner Day
This Day in History
  • 1931 – Empire State Building is dedicated – at it’s completion, it was the tallest building in the world until 1972 and was 1,250 feet tall (1,454 to the top of the lightning rod). The tallest building now is in Dubai and it 2,717 feet tall, twice the height of the Empire State Bldg.
  • 2003 – record breaking wave of tornadoes begins, by the time it was over, more than 500 tornadoes would be recorded in the month, Illinois had 74 of them and 71 in Missouri
  • 2011 – Osama Bin Laden was killed, which ended a 10 year search following his role in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Centers
Geek Humor!
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.  You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.

For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off."

Pass the Hat
Today's Pass the Hat benefits Blessings in a Backpack
Fines and Confessions
Unfortunately Ken Donoughue's phone rang so he owed a fine.
Rick Tarbell and Lori Anne Tarbell and Stuart and Karan Dudley share April 23 for their wedding anniversaries! .
Umbrella Time
Derek owns the umbrella and today he shared some proverbs with us.
"Deal with the faults of others as gently as your own" - Chinese proverb
"Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if it kept its mouth shut" - Korean proverb
"Lost time is never found again" - Ben Franklin
"One head cannot hold all wisdom" - East African proverb
"Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted" - Unknown
"The truly rich are those who enjoy what they have" - Yiddish
"Wisdom is easy to carry but difficult to gather" - Czech
"Wonder is the beginning of wisdom" - Greek proverb
Derek remains fine free during the time he owns the umbrella!
Ken Donoughue reported that he, Marlene Mattox and Gloria Richter are enjoying reading to the children at Locke Hills Elementary's Learning Tree!  To find out more about this program and to register follow this link:  The Learning Tree
Ken reminded us not to forget that NISD Storyfest 2019 is May 18 from Noon til 3 p.m. at Pat Neff Middle School, 5227 Evers Rd. 78238. It promises to be a day of fun activities including a visit from author Jonathan Auxier as well as some local authors!
Show Low Raffle
John Legris shared a bit about the wine offerings today: Mia Ragazza (translated "my girl").  It is a Chianti (translated "blood of Jupiter") which is produced in the Chianti region in Tuscany.  The Pool Side Pinot Grigio is a product of Australia. Apparently the winners last week didn't take these home so they were offered again today along with: Cupcake Red Velvet and Splendid Oak Chardonnay.  John admitted that he was not familiar with either of these he said to choose them "at your own risk."
Our speaker Linda Cook won the opportunity to draw the 2 of Clubs to win the $400 pot. She drew the king of spades. Although she didn't win the pot she was happy to take home the Mia Ragazza. Our guest Rotarian Bill McConnell owned the second ticket and chose the Chardonnay. 
Thank you Derek Matthys for donating the wine for this month.  Also, thank you John Legris for jumping on board to be our Sommelier!
Club Lunch and Business Program
Dr. Linda Cook is a local retired pediatrician and she is using her knowledge and experience to help in the fight near and dear to us as Rotarians - the fight against polio.  She went on a polio surveillance trip to India with Sherri and Al Muniz in 2010 where she observed the work that Rotarians are doing there to control polio and ameliorate the damage it causes.  Linda reported that since the 1980-90's there have been no reported cases of polio in the U.S.A. (Rotary and the Fight Against Polio timeline can be found HERE. Please visit and read to learn more about the amazing milestones that have been reached to eradicate this dread disease.) Linda related that in many countries culture is a major obstacle in administering vaccines. Lack of knowledge and superstition must be overcome in order to help them. Countries that need the vaccine are involved in warfare that makes it almost impossible to go in and give vaccines. It requires bravery to go to war torn countries. In fact, 75 workers were killed, caught in crossfire of warring factions.To fight this disease it requires countries to work together for the common good. Linda says that polio can be harder to detect - some carry the virus and transmit undetected. (To watch Rotary's Public Service Announcement "Let's Drop to Zero" click HERE.)
As a token of our appreciation we have donated a book in honor of our speaker to the Locke Hill Elementary School Library. Linda, thank you for your work to help eradicate Polio and for speaking to us today! Please come back and visit us again soon.
We exchanged flags with our visitors from Paris Kentucky today! Thank you Bill T. McConnell and Tom Brannock for visiting our club! We hope you enjoyed your stay in the Alamo City!
    Cruise Raffle Tickets
    President Fred reminded us to finish selling the last of your tickets for the cruise raffle!  Drawing is this Saturday, May 4 at the District Conference.
    District 5840 News
    Rotary District 5840 has many exciting events coming up!  For more information on these and tons of other events going on visit the official website HERE!
    Here are just a few of the things happening around our District:
    May 3        District Conference at the Embassy Suites on 5618 Landmark Pkwy 
    May 10      New Braunfels Downtown Rotary Club Golf Tournament
    May 17      Greater San Marcos Rotary Club Golf Tournament
    May 18      Rotary Leadership Institute - registration is now open!
    Coffee Friday
    Why drink (coffee) alone when you can pal around with your friends?? Typically the second Friday of the month. We welcome your input!  Is there a day/time better for you? PLEASE LET US KNOW!!!!!!
    Location: Einstein Bagels on DeZavala
    Next Time: Friday May 10
    Time: 8 a.m.
    Happier Hour
    The Outback Steakhouse is the new place for libations and munchies - typically the third Thursday of the month. Come join your friends and unwind on May 16!
    Four Way Test
    President elect Rick Tarbell closed the meeting with the Four Way Test.
    President Fred reminds us to:
    "Bring someone to Rotary Bring a friend to rotary. we all need to eat lunch, why not enjoy it with Rotarians and learn something interesting during one of our programs."